DISCLAIMER: While I do have certain criticisms of the Mormon religion and community, I don't have anything against the people. I have a lot of wonderful Mormon friends, and most of them are not representative of the situation that is about to follow.
I was looking through my Facebook status update page last night, and stumbled upon an acquaintance from high school whose status revealed that she had just become engaged. Curious, I clicked her page and saw a comment from her fiance that was posted just before her status revealing her engagement. I got a bit wrapped up in the comments he posted on her wall (not friends with him so a wall-to-wall examination was out of the question, unfortunately).
I was enthralled by their exchange on several levels:
1) That her community is putting this type of pressure on her--70% of BYU students are married upon graduation, all her older sisters are married (the one closest in age to her is only a year older)
2) ...this will reveal itself at the end of the Facebook posts.
C is the guy. K is the girl. It's a simple story, really. Again, I don't have access to her posts on his wall, but I'm pretty sure you can guess what's going on.
enjoy.
Sept. 15
C: Work is super boring, I have done all the homework that I have. Don't worry I'm not laughing because you have a ton of homework. Anyways I guess I will just see ya later!
Sept. 23
C wrote at 8:12am
So guess what...I forgot my phone at home and you're going to call, but I won't be able answer. Anyways I hope you'll just think about meeting me at the JSB.
Sept. 30
C wrote at 8:05pm
so anyways you're sitting right across from me and I should be doing homework, but I'm not. I can't believe you got me sick...JK. But I guess I get back to studying.
Oct. 14
C wrote at 5:11pm
anyways class is a little boring. it's a little tough because i just want to eat french toast. Just 2 more hours. So I guess I'll just talk to you later
K is voting YES on Prop 8. The result on this most important proposition will change the world as we know it. 4:43pm
- Comment
Oct. 22
C wrote at 9:21pm
Hey guess what...you asleep on the couch and I am doing homework. You are pretty awesome.
Oct. 23
C wrote at 9:42am
YOU WHAT??? When did this happen, did you tell me this little fact before? JK, I guess I might like you a tiny bit as well.
Oct. 24
C wrote at 2:15pm
I have no idea, this kind of thing has never happened to me. I think this might me that I have to ask you on a date or something like that, I'm not too sure. Maybe I'll ask someone to find out.
Oct. 27
Well if you want something more then you might have to make a move.
Oct. 28
C wrote at 2:07pm
fine then...I'm a little nervous.
Oct. 30
C wrote at 11:55pm
Prepared for what? You haven't done anything yet.
Oct. 31
C wrote at 8:12am
Does that mean a little before or a little after. I need to know so I can do my hair, get all realy and things of that nature. Should I eat before, or is that part of this whole going on a date thing?
P.S. my mom wants me home by 11:30
Nov. 3
C wrote at 10:26pm
So anyways you took me on a date last week. What should we do now?
Nov. 6
C wrote at 9:32am
Oh really...so that's how things work. Do I have to ask you out in person, or can I do it over facebook?
C wrote at 11:08pm
So I think I like the whole asking you on facebook...so I guess this is me asking you on a date this saturday. Since I asked, do I have to come up with something and pay for it?
C at 11:21pm
I EVEN HAVE TO DRIVE! I'm not sure I'm a fan of this dating thing. I guess if I have to I can pick you up around 5.
Nov. 7
C wrote at 12:45pm
I'm pretty sure that me not telling you is all part of this going on a date thing. Don't you worry, everything will be alright.
Nov. 8
C wrote at 11:25pm
Now aren't you glad that you trusted me. We are just super fun, i don't know how we can handle it. Anyways thanks for coming with me.
p.s. I can't believe you didn't finish your burrito, I bet all of the mexican there laughed inside of themselves. Don't worry I'll still ask you on another date.
Nov. 10
C wrote at 12:28pm
I'm not sure. I definitely wouldn't ask you on a date this Friday(wink, wink). I guess we will have to see what happens. I'll try to find something that you would be able to finish.
C wrote at 9:38pm
I hope you weren't eating the cake that we made last week. anyways I think i will keep you in suspense for friday...
Nov. 11
C wrote at 10:30pm
I'm not exactly sure young lady. Maybe if you think I'm taking too long you can just ask yourself, or wait until I do it. No matter what we will do it for sure.
Nov. 13
C wrote at 12:12pm
Well seeing that it is thursday I guess I'll have to ask you tonight to go on a date with me tomorrow. We actually will need to start at around 3 because we have a lot to do.
Nov. 17
C wrote at 1:23pm
I guess it was pretty fun. I'm thinking after this weekend you might not want to spend more time with me. Anyways we probably can do something this weekend.
Nov. 18
C wrote at 10:14am
Well you know that I can't make any promises when it comes to my family. We will see what we can do. I think that we can work in some hot tub time though.
C wrote at 10:19am
sounds good. So since we have been on a few dates now, and you even went home with me last week does that mean you are my girlfriend?
C wrote at 10:22pm
OK...so if I was to ask you in person to be my girlfriend, what might you say in response?
Nov. 20
C wrote at 7:49am
Well that sounds pretty interesting. I'm not sure what I'm going to do then. As you know I get a little nervous.
C wrote at 2:29pm
OK. Well I will see what I can do about that then this weekend. Hopefully it turns out alright.
Nov. 24
C wrote at 2:22pm
So I really don't have much to say today. I'm trying to do homework, but can't for some reason. Anyways I'm way excited for this week!
Dec. 1
C wrote at 11:30am
I'm not exactly sure what this something is going to be. I guess I will have to think about what I want to do next. Maybe you could decide what we do next.
C wrote at 4:04pm
I think that if you started the girlfriend boyfriend converstation then it will be easier for me to ask you. I wouldn't know how to begin such a converstation, so maybe you could help me out a little there.
Dec. 2
C wrote at 5:10pm
So I didn't know what ot do because you didn't start the converstaion. I thought that was part of the deal. anyways maybe we can try again later.
P.S. I love french toast
Dec. 3
C wrote at 6:04pm
What do you mean it's all in my hands. Well you might have to give me some time to figure out what to do. Maybe I could ask you on one of our dates this weekend.
P.S. I have no idea where you are, but I'm super hungry
Dec. 4
C wrote at 10:05pm
OK. But you know that I can't make any promises about asking you this weekend. It's almost friday and I have no idea how I would ask or even what we would talk about.
Dec. 6
K is listed as in a relationship. 12:08am
C wrote at 12:11am
So I decided tha it might be easier to just ask you to marry me. I figure that instead of being nervous twice I could just cut to the chase now. So what do you say?
K is listed as engaged to C. 12:14am
K is finallly engaged and the luckiest person ever!! 1:10am
Yes.
Yes.
They got engaged over Facebook. A few of us from my English class were discussing our discomfort with and reservations about certain aspects of Facebook and its effects upon not only our public perception but its effect upon our relationships with people. Fitting that I saw this later that night.
SIGH.
5 comments:
um how fucking glad i am that i don't have to flirt, date and become engaged that awkwardly, holy crap. that was a tough read haha
Did you see the Daily Show where John Stewart mentions how Prop 8 was backed by many Mormons? Take a look; I won't ruin it for you.
But, in general, I do not think that people who define and go about marriage in a different way than is considered 'normal' have any right to say how 'abnormal' and satanic another person's idea of marriage is. Come to think of it, no one does. That includes you and me, a propos de Mormons. No matter how much we scratch our heads and wonder what's going on, people will do what they think is right. And as long as they're not hurting anyone, I don't intervene.
Of course, this could be a severe lack of maturity, and not something that we should directly blame Mormonism for. And I'll take a stand against premature decision-making.
However, I'm also against the idea of marriage in general, so maybe I shouldn't even be commenting in the first place.
:-)
Yeah, I actually agree with your comment Inci...I was against this more on a human level of how ridiculous communication and dating has become. The Mormon begas as more of an aside but then I just kept getting angrier and angrier...I know maybe it's just too hard for some of us to understand these kinds of things, but I really can't help but feel angry when I know there is this insane pressure that pushes so many people so quickly into marriage...
But uh..yeah. Severe lack of maturity is what's at the heart of this, indeed. asking someone to marry you over facebook? asking someone to start up the conversation of becoming bf/gf over a facebook wall..ummm...am i missing something or is that not discussing it already? here i go again..
oh, also. so does this mean i don't get to be your bridesmaid one day? :(
The way I see it, you'll either be my bridesmaid never, or many, many times. :-)
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